Things you learn in college

# Quarters are like gold.

# Be creative in the dining hall.

# Flipflops become as important as soap, shampoo, etc.

# You will never find so many excuses for a bucket.

# Asleep by 2:30 am is an early night.

# New additions to the food groups: Mountain Dew, Doritos, Ben & Jerry's, Ho-Hos and Oreos.

# Make sure your alarm clock has back-up batteries.

# Duct tape heals all wounds. (If not, scotch or masking tape will suffice for awhile.)

# Showers become less important.

# Sleep becomes more important.

# Two meals a day are standard. One for some!

# Recycling becomes synonomous with laundry ("Oh, my jeans can last until Christmas...there's only a *little* bit of mud on them...").

# You can never make too many meals in a hot pot (or pizelle maker).

# 10 minutes is more than enough time to get ready for your first class (not that this is anything really new).

# Going to the mailbox was never an ego booster/breaker before.

# It takes more than one person to carry your laundry, books, trash, or alcohol.

# If the lecture hall is big enough, get someone else's notes.

# You begin to nap again (also not new).

# Your bill in the bookstore will almost equal tuition.

# Isn't it amazing that the book your professor wrote is always required for his class?

# Labs used to be fun.

# T.A. used to stand for teaching assistant, now, for terribly articulated.

# Squirt guns equal stress relief.

# E-mail becomes your second language.

# Frat parties are exactly like they are in the movies.

# Ten-page papers used to sound impossible, now they're a Godsend.

# You never realized so many people are smarter than you.

# You never realized so many people are dumber than you.

# Professors are like celebrities: you see them, but they never see you.

# Western Europe could be wiped out by a horrible plague and you'd never know, but you could recite last week's episode of "Friends" verbatim.

# See every movie under $3 that your campus provides; it's actually proportional to the amount of money you have.

# Roadtrip whenever possible.

# Pick up all new lingo.

# Bum rides, money, notes and snacks as much as you can get them.

# Don't burn bridges, especially if he's good in Biology.

# Plain pasta never constituted a complete meal before.

# The health service attendants are there because they couldn't make it in a real hospital, never ever forget that.

# Forget putting the toilet seat down,you just pray that they flush.

# Frisbee becomes a contact sport.

# Care packages rank up there with birthdays.

# College girls are the same as high school girls, just with more freedom...and no curfew.

# It was never this bad when you got sick.

# Pop a vitamin and breakfast is covered.

# Learn to love your roommate, especially when he leaves you the room.

# You always thought that worshipping the porcelain god was just an expression...it's not!

# You'll learn more about male genetalia than you ever thought necessary, guys talk more about that than women and sex put together.

# Beware the freshman 15, or in some cases, the freshman cup size.

# Even though the beds are long, they are also extra narrow.

# Things that were a huge deal in high school are now commonplace.

# You never thought you would share so much about yourself with people you have known for such a short time.

# Computer games go in and out faster than the latest fashions.

# Any game can be made into a drinking game.

# Disney movies are more than just classics.

# Find one thing you like in the dining hall and go with it.

# You will hear more stupid nicknames than you ever thought possible.

# Phone calls almost never happen and when they do, you just don't get the messages.

# Cereal makes a meal any time of day.

# Keep your high school term papers; nowadays, everything is recycled.

# ATMs are the devil's advocate.

# Beware the boy in the Care Bear toga.

# You almost forget how to drive.

# You'll drink anything if it's free..

# People still cheat, it's just more technologically advanced.

# You get really good with excuses for skipping class.

# The girl you're going to marry may live right next door, so keep your stereo down.

# Ordering food at 1 am is a common occurance.

# You never realized how cool you can be.

# TV becomes a bigger time sucker than ever before.

# You realize how great your hell summer job was once you get to work study.

# Keys have never been so important, yet you seem to lose them more than ever before.

# You meet the type of people you only thought existed in the movies.

# You learn to sleep with light, noise, extreme temps, and roommates snoring.

# You don't have to cover your textbooks anymore.

# You become a juggler with the balance between school, friends, girls, activities, work, parties...

# You live for chicken finger day at the cafeteria.

# People that were geeks in high school seem okay now.

# You begin to realize that college is about the ideal lifestyle, except for those pesky classes.

# You get good at rationalizing on whether to do homework or not (usually not).

# Procrastination becomes an art.

# Jeans may be worn as many times as the wearer desires (for example, see # 12).

# The only reason you ever dress up is when everything else is dirty.

# Your parents start to tell you stories about their college days.

# With all the wealth of knowledge around you, you start to feel like you're on intellectual welfare.

# Going to the mini-mart is a major treat.

# Amount of alcohol consumed is directly proportional to grade point average.

# You have two kinds of shoes: everyday shoes and party shoes.

# Classes: the later the better.

# The cute girls actually talk to you now.

# Care packages make it all worthwhile.

# The longer you're there, the less you talk about home.

# Always wear your safety goggles, they're not kidding.

# You just don't learn last names.

# Your teachers just went from Mr. and Mrs. to Prof.

# That calculator Tetris and Duck Hunt come into play even more than in high school Physics class.

# Card games never lasted for hours before.

# Vacuuming happens every semester, if you get around to it.

# Boys will dance in college.

# People who never talked to you in high school are now your best friends when you come home.

# You are never alone.

# You find out what beer sludge is.

# It's amazing how late you can stay up doing absolutely nothing, yet falling asleep in class or in the library takes an average of two seconds.

# You spend a ridiculous amount of time pondering the mystery of whether the cafeteria Lucky Charms are the real thing.

# People magazine is your deep philosophical reading material.

# You begin to subdivide your room into sections such as den, library, etc. to make it sound like a house.

# All you have to do to make new friends is have mom send up some cookies.

# You never realized how quiet your house was.

# Dishes aren't dirty enough to wash until they have bugs and/or mold in them.

# Printers only break down when you desperately need them.

# You get along so much better with your family now that you never see any of them.

# Your life will never be the same again.